Self-control (also called "temperance") is a biblical virtue. It means to have control over our desires, emotions, imaginations, passions, and conduct.
Self-control is something that can be lacked. In other words, it is something that one can lose or build up.
3 Areas of Self-Control
Body - In eating, drinking, sleeping, exercise, speaking, action, indulgence of the senses, and sexual purity. (Prov.23:21; Luke 21:34; 1Thess.4:3,4,5; James 1:26; 3:1-12)
Some rules: Don't overeat, don't oversleep, don't overspeak, don't overreact, observe cleanliness, eat properly, dress properly, etc..
Soul - In thought, imaginations, feelings, emotions, and turning of the mind towards things or ideas. Some rules: Don't allow vain thoughts, don't nurse evil feelings, don't set mind on flesh, don't worry, meditate on God's word, cultivate pure thoughts, worship and pray with mind and emotions (Phil.4:8; 1Cor.14:15)
Spirit - In passion of spirit, maintenance of a healthy conscience, and in committing to seek the Lord always and not damp the spirit in things of the flesh. Some rules: Don't be disheartened, don't be timid, don't be discouraged, be slow to anger, pray in the spirit. (Prov.16:32; 2Tim.1:7; Jude 1:20)
3 Areas of Self-Control
Body - In eating, drinking, sleeping, exercise, speaking, action, indulgence of the senses, and sexual purity. (Prov.23:21; Luke 21:34; 1Thess.4:3,4,5; James 1:26; 3:1-12)
Some rules: Don't overeat, don't oversleep, don't overspeak, don't overreact, observe cleanliness, eat properly, dress properly, etc..
Soul - In thought, imaginations, feelings, emotions, and turning of the mind towards things or ideas. Some rules: Don't allow vain thoughts, don't nurse evil feelings, don't set mind on flesh, don't worry, meditate on God's word, cultivate pure thoughts, worship and pray with mind and emotions (Phil.4:8; 1Cor.14:15)
Spirit - In passion of spirit, maintenance of a healthy conscience, and in committing to seek the Lord always and not damp the spirit in things of the flesh. Some rules: Don't be disheartened, don't be timid, don't be discouraged, be slow to anger, pray in the spirit. (Prov.16:32; 2Tim.1:7; Jude 1:20)
Metaphors of Self-control
1. Walls (Prov.25:28). Self-control is like the walls of a city. Healthy walls are pictures of a spirit under control. Walls portray the defensive aspect of self-control.
a. Walls define boundaries. Boundaries tell us where something starts and where something ends. A self-controlled man consciously defines the limits of his behavior, his indulgence in thoughts, desires, and action, and his relationships. He creates his boundaries and makes sure they are respected. Walls mark off the boundaries of where to say "yes" and where to say "no". Boundaries clearly tell us what is rightfully ours and what is not ours (Tit.2:12; Heb.5:14). Fixing boundaries of behavior and reaction are important for self-control. Children who learn to wait and pray before eating, who are taught to control their speech, who know how to behave in public, when to finish playing and start studying, and when to go to bed and rise up early will find self-control easier in the long run.
b. Walls are barriers. Barriers block ingress and egress. Walls are the shields of the city. Imagine self-control as a restraining wall. It blocks away the destructive elements from invading and destroying us (e.g. excessive eating). It also blocks the destructive elements inside from trying to escape out and go abandon and wild (Prov.19:13; 27:15; 1Thess.4:4; 2Tim.3:3). The ability to say an absolute "no" is important. "I will not do this", "I will not eat this", I will not say this" must be articulated clearly with a sense of strong control. Unless we take a resolve, God's grace cannot help us. He still asks "Do you believe that I am able to do this?" (Matt.9:28) which expects that we are serious about our "no" to the flesh and "yes" to the Lord.
1. Walls (Prov.25:28). Self-control is like the walls of a city. Healthy walls are pictures of a spirit under control. Walls portray the defensive aspect of self-control.
a. Walls define boundaries. Boundaries tell us where something starts and where something ends. A self-controlled man consciously defines the limits of his behavior, his indulgence in thoughts, desires, and action, and his relationships. He creates his boundaries and makes sure they are respected. Walls mark off the boundaries of where to say "yes" and where to say "no". Boundaries clearly tell us what is rightfully ours and what is not ours (Tit.2:12; Heb.5:14). Fixing boundaries of behavior and reaction are important for self-control. Children who learn to wait and pray before eating, who are taught to control their speech, who know how to behave in public, when to finish playing and start studying, and when to go to bed and rise up early will find self-control easier in the long run.
b. Walls are barriers. Barriers block ingress and egress. Walls are the shields of the city. Imagine self-control as a restraining wall. It blocks away the destructive elements from invading and destroying us (e.g. excessive eating). It also blocks the destructive elements inside from trying to escape out and go abandon and wild (Prov.19:13; 27:15; 1Thess.4:4; 2Tim.3:3). The ability to say an absolute "no" is important. "I will not do this", "I will not eat this", I will not say this" must be articulated clearly with a sense of strong control. Unless we take a resolve, God's grace cannot help us. He still asks "Do you believe that I am able to do this?" (Matt.9:28) which expects that we are serious about our "no" to the flesh and "yes" to the Lord.
2. Capturing City (Prov.16:32). A man with self-control is better than the one who captures a city. The picture is of the act of controlling the spirit. Capturing portrays the offensive aspect of self-control.
a. Capturing a city involves battle. Self-control is an internal battle (1Pet.2:11; James 4:1,2). Sometimes, the struggle can be tough. We must not deny the battle but wrestle to bring thoughts captive in obedience to Christ (2Cor.10:4,5; Heb.12:4; Luke 22:44).
b. Capturing a city requires force. Self-control requires the power of resistance and attack (Matt.11:12; James 4:7; Rom.8:13). The Holy Spirit gives us the power of self-control (2Tim.1:7). So, praying in the Spirit is necessary (Eph.6:10, 18; 1Cor.14:4; Jude 1:20).
c. Capturing a city requires strategy. Self-control requires disciplined subjection of the body and the spirit (1Cor.9:25,26,27).
d. Capturing a city involves retaining control. Self-control involves the ensuring of total control over body, soul, and spirit (Eph.6:13). It is not a singular event; it is a daily battle.
3. Fruit of the Spirit (Gal.5:23). Self-control is a moral virtue produced by being grafted into the Spirit, becoming one with Him, and walking in agreement with Him.
a. Fruit is the produce of the tree. Self-control is produced by the Spirit; it means to be Spirit-controlled. It is God who strengthens our will to rule over our spirit, mind, emotions, and body (Gal.5:16).
b. Fruit bears the nature of the tree. Self-control is born out of the nature of God (2Pet.1:4,6; 1John 3:9).
c. Fruit is a blessing to others. Self-control is selfless and exists to bless others.
Spectra of Self-control (2Pet.1:5,6,7,8)
1. Faith - The first element is faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ.One must retain this faith and build it up. Faith makes us the children of God and provides us with a godly rationale for self-controlled lifestyle.
2. Virtue - The second is love of good and hatred of evil. One must extol virtue, and never feel good about or agree with any praise of anything evil (evil is never a comedy before God). (Ps.45:1; Amos 5:15; Phil.4:8; Eph.5:3,4).
3. Knowledge - Knowledge means to be able to identify the good and discern the good from the bad. It is a sign of maturity (Heb.5:14). Knowledge helps to create walls.
4. Self-control - Self-control comes from good faith, a mind absorbed in the virtuous, and a nature trained to recoil from evil and pursue goodness. Self-control is the maintenance of the walls.
5. Perseverance - Self-control is strengthened by perseverance which is the willful exercise of patient endurance in the good through self-encouragement in the word and promises of God. Perseverance is the durability of the walls - it determines how long the walls hold out.
6. Godliness - Godliness is piety and fear of the Lord. It is honoring God for who He is. One can't know the honor of God unless one first believes and is turned to virtue, unless one practically understands knowledge and possesses self-control and endurance. Godliness is the absolute acknowledgement of the centrality of the King in the city.
7. Brotherly kindness - This is concern and care that we show for those that God brings into our circle of relationship. Brotherly kindness helps each other to keep the walls up, bold and high.
8. Love - Love is only possible where brotherly kindness exists. We can't even claim to love God if we have no love for our neighbor. Love provides the motive for never letting the walls down.
Interestingly, at the center of all these virtues are self-control and perseverance.
Exercising Self-control in all things (1Cor.9:25; 2Tim.2:3,4).
1. Remember that self-control is holistic. We must exercise self-control in ALL THINGS. If we lose self-control in one area, we will soon lose control over the other areas. A breach in the wall is a danger to the city.
e.g. The Marshmallow experiment was conducted by psychologists in which kids were tested for self-control and endurance. Each were given a marshmallow and told that if they waited for 15mts and didn't eat it, they'll get another. It is said that the kids who waited also proved to be more successful and prominent in life later on.
2. Self-control has a purpose (1Cor.9:26). It is not a random routine of exercise or engagement in a wild-goose chase. Self-control has value. It prepares someone for the greater challenge to come (Jer.12:5).
3. Self-control involves discipline of the mind. It means to never allow imaginations and thoughts to break the boundaries established by God (Gen.6:5), but bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (2Cor.10:4,5). It means to gird up the loins of the mind (1Pet.1:13), that is to fasten the belt on our mind to keep it steady and strong. It means to think and meditate on the virtuous and avoid all appearance of evil (Phil.4:8; 1Thess.5:21). Allowing the mind to double-look at any appearance of evil (usually not physically but mentally) demoralizes the will and ruins the spirit. Whatever is allowed in is treasured in. Usually, such a person will be surprised at the various ways in which lusts and vanities surface in dreams and reactions (Ecc.5:3,7; Luke 6:45). To avoid all appearance of evil means to kill a wicked thought by the Spirit as soon as it appears, to dismiss and banish an unrighteous plan of action as soon as it is suggested, and to say "no" to ungodly lusts - and the "no" should mean "no" with no room for a bargain or negotiation (Tit.2:12; Gen.39:10,11,12; 1Sam.30:22-24).
4. Self-control involves discipline of the body (1Cor.9:27). A lazy and carefree person who eats as he likes, sleeps as he likes, talks as he likes, and doesn't pay attention to the rigors of a disciplined lifestyle will never understand what self-control is all about. But, discipline must not be observed grudgingly, as if it is a burden. Discipline must be embraced with purpose, determination, and the faith that self-control protects the heart, mind, emotions, and the spirit against destroying elements and helps one focus on the mission and task of God (1Thess.4:4,5,7).
5. Self-control means to rule the spirit (Prov.16:32; 25:28). It means to not lose our bearing, to not swagger, to not slip, and to not fall. It means to keep the spirit meek and humble (Dan.5:20; Matt.5:3; Prov.16:19). It means to have a broken spirit before God always (Psa.51:17; Matt.26:39; Heb.5:8; James 4:10). Note that it should not be brokenness in itself, but brokenness before God (Prov.17:22). Ruling the spirit means to control our anger from explosion (Prov.16:32; Psa.4:4; Eph.4:26; Eccl.7:9). Ruling the spirit means to become strong in the spirit (Luke 1:80; 2:40). Ruling the spirit means to commit the spirit to God (Psa.31:5). It means to not be lax and slack in the spirit (Psa.32:2). It means to have a steadfast and stable spirit (not one swayed by circumstances) (Psa.51:10). It means to be patient in the spirit and not proud in the spirit (Eccl.7:8). It means to have the spirit in its right place, i.e. to seek God diligently (Psa.77:6; Prov.22:27; Isa.26:9; John 4:23).
3. Self-control involves discipline of the mind. It means to never allow imaginations and thoughts to break the boundaries established by God (Gen.6:5), but bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (2Cor.10:4,5). It means to gird up the loins of the mind (1Pet.1:13), that is to fasten the belt on our mind to keep it steady and strong. It means to think and meditate on the virtuous and avoid all appearance of evil (Phil.4:8; 1Thess.5:21). Allowing the mind to double-look at any appearance of evil (usually not physically but mentally) demoralizes the will and ruins the spirit. Whatever is allowed in is treasured in. Usually, such a person will be surprised at the various ways in which lusts and vanities surface in dreams and reactions (Ecc.5:3,7; Luke 6:45). To avoid all appearance of evil means to kill a wicked thought by the Spirit as soon as it appears, to dismiss and banish an unrighteous plan of action as soon as it is suggested, and to say "no" to ungodly lusts - and the "no" should mean "no" with no room for a bargain or negotiation (Tit.2:12; Gen.39:10,11,12; 1Sam.30:22-24).
4. Self-control involves discipline of the body (1Cor.9:27). A lazy and carefree person who eats as he likes, sleeps as he likes, talks as he likes, and doesn't pay attention to the rigors of a disciplined lifestyle will never understand what self-control is all about. But, discipline must not be observed grudgingly, as if it is a burden. Discipline must be embraced with purpose, determination, and the faith that self-control protects the heart, mind, emotions, and the spirit against destroying elements and helps one focus on the mission and task of God (1Thess.4:4,5,7).
5. Self-control means to rule the spirit (Prov.16:32; 25:28). It means to not lose our bearing, to not swagger, to not slip, and to not fall. It means to keep the spirit meek and humble (Dan.5:20; Matt.5:3; Prov.16:19). It means to have a broken spirit before God always (Psa.51:17; Matt.26:39; Heb.5:8; James 4:10). Note that it should not be brokenness in itself, but brokenness before God (Prov.17:22). Ruling the spirit means to control our anger from explosion (Prov.16:32; Psa.4:4; Eph.4:26; Eccl.7:9). Ruling the spirit means to become strong in the spirit (Luke 1:80; 2:40). Ruling the spirit means to commit the spirit to God (Psa.31:5). It means to not be lax and slack in the spirit (Psa.32:2). It means to have a steadfast and stable spirit (not one swayed by circumstances) (Psa.51:10). It means to be patient in the spirit and not proud in the spirit (Eccl.7:8). It means to have the spirit in its right place, i.e. to seek God diligently (Psa.77:6; Prov.22:27; Isa.26:9; John 4:23).
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